Monday, April 25, 2011


It has been almost five years since I overlooked and ignored this very place where I once spent 16 years of family life. When I left for a job in Manila in 2007, hardly I noticed the sorry state of my backyard where thick grasses had replaced the colorful ornamentals that have once earned the awe and admiration of visitors.
Months earlier then; I have been sleeping beside a bottle of Blue Gin to elude my guilt of losing my family who has left for Europe. Their departure was the ultimate response of my wife to end what she called a turbulent relationship.
From thereon; I have always tried to restore my complacence. But even when I tried to change the color of the living room's wall or to rearrange the furnitures into different position; the feel of a home I can never more redeem from the house.
I was given a chance to start anew in the city and had my depression overcome by my affection for the work I was given. It was far from my Job of apparently courting enemies than friends; in the city however- it was the other way around.
On weekdays I mingle with the city peasants handling the livelihood programs of the Congressman of Pasay City. On weekends; I manage the feeding program for street children with the Parishes of the same city. Funny; I had the room to enjoy my vices on thoughts that I was finally free. My sudden change of heart was perhaps spontaneous; It was not the kind of satisfaction I have been longing for.
You would not believe that I shed tears when the time finally came I was already at the end of the line. My work has ceased; I have to leave the city, my friends, my room and my home which has sheltered me from the long lost years of loneliness. But I was already a different person then; I have to face life and move on without drowning my sorrows with Blue Gin like I did before.
I went back to Ilagan to a place I feel downtrodden. Worst; I witnessed how the Super typhoon destroyed the house and its immediate vicinity. After a storm comes the sun they say; as I was passing my time thinking of any possible employment, my cellphone rang and the Editor of my current newspaper told me to stay in this devastated town and send stories of the ongoing events after the onslaught.
I was back to my former Job that I once swore I would never get it back; perhaps destiny has something stored for me. I learned to appreciate life, new challenges, new friends. It is all in the matter of accepting it.
It is now that I feel the beauty of life - This time I could hardly believe that flowers are growing in my backyard.

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